The chicken and the egg were lying in bed one
night, when one turned to the other and said,
‘Well, now we know.’”
—Unknown
One of the best-kept secrets of our time is that men (not just women)
can be multi-orgasmic. Not only can a man have several orgasms during
one session of lovemaking, but he also can do it and still have lots of
energy and desire. “Oh sure,” you may be thinking, “maybe Superman
or super stud, but not me.” Actually most “ordinary” men can, you can—
the key is learning to separate orgasm from ejaculation. Because ejaculation
follows orgasm so closely—within a split second—most people
think they are one and the same, but they are two distinct phenomena.
In Tantric loving, you learn to experience the pleasure of orgasm without
the accompanying letdown of ejaculation. There are only two things
you need to learn in order to be able to separate your orgasm from your
ejaculation:
Stay relaxed no matter how aroused you are.
Move your hot sexual energy up and away from your
genitals.
Any man who does this and makes love long enough to build a very high
sexual charge will eventually spontaneously experience non-ejaculatory
orgasm.
3 Types of Orgasm
The Ejaculatory Orgasm
Most men are happily familiar with a regular ejaculatory orgasm
during which the whole body tenses, and the prostate gland vibrates
strongly, propelling semen forcefully out of the penis. For a few seconds
there is intense pleasure, and then a refractory (or recovery) period sets
in. The body relaxes; the erection subsides and with it goes interest in
further sexual activity. Sleepiness sets in. How long it takes before energy
and interest return depends on a man’s age, health, libido, and
frequency of ejaculation. Some men, usually young and strong men,
may be able to retain an erection in spite of ejaculation by continued
thrusting, or they may regain another erection almost immediately.
No matter how good it feels, repeated ejaculation with its accompanying
loss of sexual energy can deplete your body’s strength and vitality.
If the energy drain is extensive, it can lead to unconscious resentment
of your partner for “exhausting your manhood.”
The Prostate Orgasm
Although the prostate orgasm is also accompanied by ejaculation,
less fluid is expelled. Because the contractions of the prostate are much
less powerful, the ejaculate dribbles out and pleasurable sensations are
felt more internally. The usual tiredness following orgasm is noticeably
reduced.
Some men experience prostate orgasm occasionally and unexpectedly.
For those practicing the art of Tantric loving, it is a sign that you
are learning to keep the muscles around your genitals relaxed even during
high arousal and vigorous activity. It is a marker along your road to
mastery.
The Non-Ejaculatory Orgasm
By building a high sexual charge and moving it up through your
body rather than releasing it through ejaculation you can discover nonejaculatory
orgasm. Your whole body can become an orgasmic erogenous
zone, with orgasmic sensation in your toes, for example, or intense
orgasmic rippling through your entire body rather than just your genitals.
There are no limits to how many of these orgasms you can have, with
the intensity of each one varying from mild to overwhelming. A nonejaculatory
orgasm does not result in any loss of energy. On the contrary,
your energy can build indefinitely to higher and higher intensities. You
may experience the opening of your higher spiritual centers, specifically
your throat, third eye, and crown chakra energy centers. Furthermore,
you can build up reserves of sexual energy and use it for other purposes,
such as physical healing, spiritual awakening, enhanced creativity, or
excellence in science, business, and sports. Any man who learns to do
this will gain a serious competitive advantage.
A non-ejaculatory orgasm usually feels different from a regular ejaculation
orgasm, although sometimes the sensations that accompany a
normal ejaculation are also experienced in the non-ejaculatory variety.
That familiar intense pleasure that starts in the vibrating prostate and
typically travels out the end of the penis with the ejaculate instead travels
upward along the energy meridians of the chakra centers to the top of
your head. As this energy moves, you may experience intense sensations
of pleasure throughout your body. These sensations are not the
same as the sensation located in the genitals during ordinary orgasm,
but they are superb. My body often contracts and jerks involuntarily
with the force of this flow of energy. This rush of sensations lasts much
longer than a genital orgasm, for example from several minutes up to a
timeless, continuous bliss state.
I do love to have an ejaculation, but I do not enjoy the accompanying
energetic letdown and loss of desire. After an ejaculation I do not
even feel like cuddling—I want to roll over and go to sleep. I experience
this depletion whether my ejaculation is involuntary or voluntary, and it
gets worse with each passing year. By comparison, a non-ejaculatory
orgasm leaves me relaxed, but not tired. I do not lose my capacity to keep or regain an erection. I still have intense desire, which I do not
experience as discomfort but rather as vitality and vigor. I bask in an
afterglow of high energy, an intensification of sensation, and creative
potential. This does not interfere with sleep, because there is a sublime
combination of aroused excitement with complete relaxation.
Ejaculation Mastery
“The archer strikes the target—partly by pulling;
partly by letting go.”
—Unknown
With regular lovemaking, there is a steady buildup of sexual excitement
to ejaculatory orgasmic release, which usually ends the sexual
activity. Tantra sacred sex is high-energy sex. You make love for a period
of hours, building higher and higher concentrations of energy, stopping
before you let go into ejaculation, relaxing a little, then building excitement
again and again. By delaying ejaculation, you accumulate enough
sexual energy to open your spiritual centers, plus you last long enough
so your lover may experience multiple orgasms.
But don’t make the mistake of putting all your effort and attention
into simply preventing ejaculation, as I did at first. When your focus is
on not ejaculating, your mind is still locked on ejaculation. Remember
the Doer consciousness from Chapter 2? The Doer consciousness only
notices the object of your attention. If you focus on “I do not want to
ejaculate,” the object of your attention is ejaculation, and you are going
to get more of that. Instead, your effort should be positive, on learning
to accumulate and then circulate more and more sexual energy. Using
your imagination to think about and visualize working with your sexual
energy is one of the positive methods you can use to replace the negative
idea of not ejaculating.
Mapping Your Sexual Arousal Process
There are a number of techniques you can use to successfully prolong
lovemaking and build a high sexual charge. The first is to create a scale
from 1 to 10 for your sexual arousal cycle—one being the lowest level of
arousal, and 10, the highest level. Ten does not mean ejaculation, but is
the level where you may experience whole body orgasms, profound connection
with your lover, and altered states of consciousness. At 10, you
may have direct experiences with the Divine.
Ejaculation may take place at any level on the scale and it is important
that you know where on your scale ejaculation becomes unpredictable.
Unpredictable does not mean imminent. For instance, you might
find that any time you get to a seven on your scale you cannot control
when ejaculation will take place. One second you are fine and the next
second you have lost it. You could last two more minutes or another
hour, but you cannot tell which it will be. By the way, do not worry
about how your scale compares with anyone else’s; the important point
is to know your own number.
How can you identify this “point of no return” on your scale? Learning
about your arousal cycle is a little like potty training. As a young
child, at first you did not pay any attention to the signals your body gave
that you had to go to the bathroom. In fact, you did not even know that
your body was giving you these signals until someone taught you what
to look for. Once you knew what you were supposed to do, you became
so sensitive to the signals that you could always get to a bathroom on
time and avoid embarrassing mistakes.
In a similar way, you may not know what signals your body is giving
you that ejaculation is very close. You will not know what to do to delay
ejaculation unless you become aware of these signals. What are some
of the signs your body uses to tell you how excited, turned on, and close
to ejaculation you are?……
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