Friday, November 4, 2011

Tantra sex- Chapter 7: Energy Delights

“Ecstasy is our very nature.”

From the moment of our first Tantric lovemaking experience, we
knew we were dealing with something beyond our regular understanding
of our physical bodies. We experienced what we could only describe
as an energetic phenomenon. This was foreign to us not only in its manifestation

but also in its very idea. As children of a Western culture,
“energy” was the electricity that powers our TVs and telephones and
food processors, the stuff that was in increasingly short supply to fuel
our cars and planes, and an element of some vaguely remembered
Einstein equation from high school physics. It had nothing to do with
how we moved through life, understood ourselves, or connected to
In Eastern societies it has everything to do with these and more.
The idea that all of life is expressed in energetic flow is an underpinning
of much of Eastern philosophy. Not only do human beings interact
with this flow, it is part of their spiritual duty to conscientiously do so.
There are numerous interpretations and classifications of “life force
energy.” The Taoists of China call it “chi,” “ki,” or “qi,” and for them
specifically, sexual energy is “ching.” From India we have “prana” (from
Sanskrit terms: “pra” meaning forward or before, and “ana” meaning
breath), “kundalini,” and “shakti”—the elemental life force in Tantric
There are countless methods of working with energy, and Westerners
are becoming increasingly familiar with them in areas as diverse as
exercise, interior design, medical care, and sexuality:
�� Qi Gong (Chi Kung), Tai Chi, and HathaYoga, all methods
of exercising and balancing your energetic as well as your
physical body, are becoming the work outs of choice for
everyone from executives to retirees to film stars.
�� Even conservative matrons are decorating their homes based
on the harmonious principles of feng shui, which considers
the combination of interior and exterior space, light, sounds,
aromas, materials, placement of buildings and furnishings,
and the energetic effect these combinations create.
�� Nurses at hospitals throughout North America regularly
perform Therapeutic Touch, a healing process based on the
assumption of a human energy field that extends beyond the
�� Acupuncture, acupressure, Reiki, and a host of innovative
therapeutic procedures, such as Awareness Release Therapy
and Emotional Release Therapy, are gaining popularity, even

with some medical doctors.
As modern science moves farther away from a Newtonian model of
the universe as a giant machine and closer to an Einstein-influenced
perception of it as energy in constant motion, the Western rational mind
is more likely to accept the concept of “vital force” and the practices
that accompany it. However, you do not have to understand it or even
believe in it to begin to work with energy. Just jump in and see for yourself.
Try some of these energy exercises that we employ in our life together
and teach in our workshops. They are drawn from diverse
traditions, ancient and modern. Some are general while others are specific
to sexuality. As with all of the practices we present, we encourage
you to thoroughly experiment, then retain those that work for you, and
leave the rest behind.
Starting Out
You have already experienced your energy body, you just may never
have thought of it that way. Whenever you know someone is coming up
behind you, but you haven’t seen them, heard them, or smelled them
and they haven’t touched you, you’re feeling them with your energy
A simple way to begin to get in touch with your energy body is to
briskly rub your hands together for about a minute. Then with your
hands in front of you, palms facing each other, an inch or two apart,
concentrate on the center of your palms. You may feel a tingling, or a
pressure, or some other sensation. If you do, see if you can shape and
play with this force. Move your hands farther apart, then closer together.
What do you notice about this force as you mold it in your hands?
Grounding, a simple, yet highly effective, practice that centers and
stabilizes you, will change your life for the better. Through grounding,
you direct energy down into the earth. You can do this through your
root chakra (an energy center that runs from the base of your spine to
your pubic bone), through your feet, through your whole body if you are
lying flat on the ground. There are many ways to ground, but this one is
our favorite. We learned it from an extraordinary man named Denis
Chagnon, whose loving touch has restored many to health.
Grounding Exercise
• Sit or stand comfortably—back straight but not rigid.
• Take a slow deep breath in through your nose.

• Let your breath flow slowly without pause—in and out.
• Focus your attention on your root chakra (your genitals to the base of your spine—more about chakras follows).
• Imagine a connection opening between your root chakra and the earth. This can take many forms and can be different each time you practice. Some see a tree trunk or roots, a hollow bamboo, a silver tube, a beam of light, a flow of menstrual blood, and so on.
• Visualize this connection extending from you down into Mother Earth, passing through the crust, the bedrock, deep into the molten core.
• When you have your connection formed, allow any overwhelming sensations, any negative energies—anger, lethargy, hyperactivity, grief, anxiety, fear—to flow through your connection down into the center of Mother Earth.
• There, in a fiery blast, the energy is purified and returns back
• to you as safe, strong, peaceful life force. Maintain your flowing connection—overwhelming energy down and calming energy up.
• We encourage you to practice grounding regularly. Try to do it consciously as you move through your day. Keep reminding yourself to ground, and then do it. Notice what difference it makes in your stability and calmness.
But I Don’t Feel Anything!
“And now here is my secret, a very simple secret: It is
only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is
essential is invisible to the eye.”
—Antoine de Saint-ExupÈry, The Little Prince
“Love is what’s in the room with you at Christmas if you
stop opening presents and listen.”
—Bobby, age 5
Some people are more sensitive to energetic phenomenon than
others. As you begin your energy practices do not look for particular
“special effects,” rather be an observer of what is happening within you.
If you do not notice anything at all while you are doing the exercises, be
patient with yourself and keep going, even though your rational mind
may want to conclude that this energy is not real and that nothing is

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