“A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to
stop speech when words become superfluous.”
—Ingrid Bergman
Tantric loving is serious business. After all it brings you face to face
with profound issues such as: “How do I welcome God?” and, “Am I
living my life to my full potential?” Because it deals with weighty matters,
you might assume that Tantra is solemn, even grave. You may also
suspect that even though Tantra includes sex, because it is “spiritual”
sex, it is likely sedate—a polite sexuality with much earnest eye-gazing
and not lots of juicy bits. Well, you would be partly right. There is much
about Tantric loving that is thoughtful and decorous, but the Tantric
scope encompasses all, uniting seemingly disparate polarities into an
integrated whole, so reverence and raucousness, piety and playfulness
are equal partners in your lover’s bed. You engage in all sorts of
wild and wonderful acts to build your sexual charge then focus your
thought to elevate that charge, thus connecting your animal body
with your ethereal spirit. In this expansive view, you push your limits,
allowing and encouraging each other to be imaginative, vulnerable, and bold.
Perhaps you feel you aren’t innately daring or sexually adventurous—
well, the best suggestion we have ever gotten for this self-sabotaging
argument is: Make it up! You might not think you are particularly wild
but, ask yourself, if you were, what would you do? Then do it. You may
surprise yourself, and your lover, with your ingenuity. Use the suggestions
in this chapter to kick-start your creative process. An effective
approach is to each assume responsibility for investigating a different
activity and then share what you have learned. Select something that
appeals to you and plan how you will include it in your next Tan
date. Take turns from week to week or both pick one treat to contribute.
Remember to be flexible as you create your scenario—you are
simply setting the stage and providing the necessary props for an inspired
improvisation.
Location
In Chapter 10, we outlined elements of creating a sacred space for
your Tantric lovemaking. Most likely your love temple will usually be at
home and probably in your bedroom, but a change of scene can add
excitement and mystery. If you have the privacy, move around from
by intriguing sauces. Whatever your method, be sure to give yourself
room to room, christening your tables and countertops, rugs and window
seats, infusing every part of your home with the electrical charge of your
blissful connection. When our house was being built, we would slip in at
night and consecrate specific areas with our fiercely magical mating, until
we had covered the entire building. We have continued the practice,
regularly blessing every delightful nook and cranny through our ceremonial
sexuality. You can feel the love as soon as you step in our door.
Occasionally making the shift to a locale away from home injects the
spice of newness into your sacred sex time. Slip off to a nearby motel for
a lovers’ afternoon rendezvous. Set up a love nest in a tent in your backyard or trade apartments with your friends for the weekend.
Food and Drink
Sex and food are inseparable, or they should be. Palate-pleasing
food and drinks are essential elements of extended loving sessions. For
one thing, you need them to keep up your stamina, but besides that,
their aromas, flavors, textures, and appearance nourish your senses. They
also remind you to be grateful for the many bounties of the earth.
Cooking is an erotic experience for us, so sometimes preparing food
together is part of our sexual play. Eating definitely is: tenderly feeding
each other tasty finger foods; slurping succulent tidbits off each other’s
bodies; enjoying a formal candlelight dinner with amorous interludes
between courses; sharing sacramental dishes during reverent ceremonies.
If you are not into cooking, order in, buy some frozen gourmet
specials, or go minimalist with raw fruits, nuts, and vegetables escorted
the sensual delights that can accompany fueling your body.
A
meat, and wine—and sexual union as sacramental symbols of the
elements. Grains represent earth, fish-water, wine-fire, meat-air, and
coitus-space—the all-pervasive element that is part of all the others. I
traditional Tantra, various intoxicants were also employed: alcohol and
drugs, such as marijuana. They were included as enhancements to
lovemaking—aids to alter consciousness, not escape from reality. M
consumption of wine or spirits over an evening of high-octane sex
is pleasurable and manageable; too much dulls your senses. The sam
restraint applies to eating—not to your enjoyment of the food—but to
the amount you consume….
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