Cultivating Your Sexual Energy

Gay men, like all men, need to learn to circulate their sexual energy though
their body both to expand their orgasms and to benefit from the power and
healing potential of their sexual energy. During nonejaculatory sex, it is even
more important for men to draw this energy up in order to satisfy their desire
and transform the volatile sexual energy (ching-chi) into the more refined
and stable chi. We discussed the techniques for circulating your sexual
energy and for separating orgasm from ejaculation. Here we just want to
describe the importance of these practices for gay men and gay male
couples.

One multi-orgasmic gay man described his experience: “I had a lover in New

York, and I was so much into the Tao, I said, ‘You have to get into it.’ I didn't
give him a choice. When we felt like fooling around, we'd start playing with
one another. When each of us would feel ready we would do the Big Draw at
our own speed. When we did it together, even if we didn’t circulate the
energy at the same time, we would be satisfied at the same point. We would
fall asleep in two minutes. That sharing of energy keeps going on as you
sleep in one another’s arms, because you are both charged with sexual
energy."
As we said these practices can be done on your own or even if your partner
is not “into the Tao.” As one multi-orgasmic gay man explained, "After
pleasing myself or making love and doing the Big Draw four or five times, I
am done. After that if the most gorgeous guy is right in front of me and he
says, ‘Let me suck you off,' I’ll say, ‘Please, leave me alone.’ I’m satisfied
even though I haven't ejaculated.”

If you find you are having difficulty controlling your yang sexual energy, you
may be in need of some balancing and calming yin energy. Fortunately, there
are many sources of yin energy, since both yin and yang exist in all of
nature, from the cosmic (earth and heaven) to the microcosmic (your body).
Since each of us has both yin and yang, you can cultivate within yourself the
qualities of yin such as gentleness, kindness, and self-respect. (For a fuller
discussion of learning how to cultivate these qualities and how to deal with
emotional imbalances, see Mantak Chia’s Taoist Ways to Transform Stress
into Vitality.) From the environment, you can balance your energy by eating
yin foods such as vegetables and fish or by absorbing yin energy directly
from the earth. According to Taoism (as well as many other traditions), the
earth is feminine (that is, yin). Men can absorb yin energy from the earth
simply through spending time in nature and gardening or can absorb it in a
more concentrated form by drawing energy up from the earth when
practicing the Cool Draw.

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