Ancient authors are of opinion that girls are not so easily seduced by employing
female messengers as by the efforts of the man himself, but that the wives of
others are more easily got at by the aid of female messengers than by the
personal efforts of the man. But Vatsyayana lays it down that whenever it is
possible a man should always act himself in these matters, and it is only when
such is impracticable, or impossible, that female messengers should be
employed. As for the saying that women who act and talk boldly and freely are
to be won by the personal efforts of the man, and that women who do not
possess those qualities are to be got at by female messengers, it is only a
matter of talk.
Now when a man acts himself in the matter he should first of all make the
acquaintance of the woman he loves in the following manner:
He should arrange to be seen by the woman either on a natural or special
opportunity. A natural opportunity is when one of them goes to the house of the
other, and a special opportunity is when they meet either at the house of a
friend, or a caste-fellow, or a minister, or a physician, as also on the occasion of
marriage ceremonies, sacrifices, festivals, funerals, and garden parties.
When they do meet, the man should be careful to look at her in such a way as
to cause the state of his mind to be made known to her; he should pull about
his moustache, make a sound with his nails, cause his own ornaments to tinkle,
bite his lower lip, and make various other signs of that description. When she is
looking at him he should speak to his friends about her and other women, and
should show to her his liberality and his appreciation of enjoyments. When
sitting by the side of a female friend he should yawn and twist his body,
contract his eyebrows, speak very slowly as if he was weary, and listen to her
indifferently. A conversation having two meanings should also be carried on
with a child or some other person, apparently having regard to a third person,
but really having reference to the woman he loves, and in this way his love
should be made manifest under the pretext of referring to others rather than to
herself. He should make marks that have reference to her, on the earth with his
nails, or with a stick, and should embrace and kiss a child in her presence, and
give it the mixture of betel nut and betel leaves with his tongue, and press its
chin with his fingers in a caressing way. All these things should be done at the
proper time and in proper places.
The man should fondle a child that may be sitting on her lap, and give it
something to play with, and also take the same back again. Conversation with
respect to the child may also be held with her, and in this manner he should
gradually become well acquainted with her, and he should also make himself
agreeable to her relations. Afterwards, this acquaintance should be made a
pretext for visiting her house frequently, and on such occasions he should
converse on the subject of love in her absence but within her hearing.
As his
intimacy with her increases he should place in her charge some kind of deposit
or trust, and take away from it a small portion at a time; or he may give her
some fragrant substances, or betel nuts to be kept for him by her. After this he
should endeavour to make her well acquainted with his own wife, and get them
to carry on confidential conversations, and to sit together in lonely places.
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