For the first three days after marriage, the girl and her husband should sleep
on the floor, abstain from sexual pleasures, and eat their food without
seasoning it either with alkali or salt. For the next seven days they should bathe
amidst tire sounds of auspicious musical instruments, should decorate
themselves, dine together, and pay attention to their relations as well as to
those who may have come to witness their marriage. This is applicable to
persons of all castes. On the night of the tenth day the man should begin in a
lonely place with soft words, and thus create confidence in the girl. Some
authors say that for the purpose of winning her over he should not speak to her
for three days, but the followers of Babhravya are of opinion that if the man
does not speak with her for three days, the girl may be discouraged by seeing
him spiritless like a pillar, and, becoming dejected, she may begin to despise
him as a eunuch.
Vatsyayana says that the man should begin to win her over, and to create
confidence in her, but should abstain at first from sexual pleasures. Women,
being of a tender nature, want tender beginnings, and when they are forcibly
approached by men with whom they are but slightly acquainted, they
sometimes suddenly become haters of sexual connection, and sometimes even
haters of the male sex. The man should therefore approach the girl according to
her liking, and should make use of those devices by which he may be able to
establish himself more and more into her confidence. These devices are as
follows:
He should embrace her first of all in a way she likes most, because it does not
last for a long time.
He should embrace her with the upper part of his body because that is easier
and simpler. If the girl is grown up, or if the man has known her for some time,
he may embrace her by the light of a lamp, but if he is not well acquainted with
her, or if she is a young girl, he should then embrace her in darkness.
When the girl accepts the embrace, the man should put a tambula or screw of
betel nut and betel leaves in her mouth, and if she will not take it, he should
induce her to do so by conciliatory words, entreaties, oaths, and kneeling at her
feet, for it is a universal rule that however bashful or angry a woman may be
she never disregards a man's kneeling at her feet. At the time of giving this
tambula he should kiss her mouth softly and gracefully without making any
sound.
When she is gained over in this respect he should then make her talk, and so
that she may be induced to talk he should ask her questions about things of
which he knows or pretends to know nothing, and which can be answered in a
few words. If she does not speak to him, he should not frighten her, but should
ask her the same thing again and again in a conciliatory manner. If she does
not then speak he should urge her to give a reply because, as Ghotakamukha
says, `all girls hear everything said to them by men, but do not themselves
sometimes say a single word'.
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