When a girl cannot meet her lover frequently in private, she should send the
daughter of her nurse to him, it being understood that she has confidence in
her, and had previously gained her over to her interests. On seeing the man,
the daughter of the nurse should, in the course of conversation, describe to him
the noble birth, the good disposition, the beauty, talent, skill, knowledge of
human nature and affection of the girl in such a way as not to let him suppose
that she had been sent by the girl, and should thus create affection for the girl
in the heart of the man. To the girl also she should speak about the excellent
qualities of the man, especially of those qualities which she knows are pleasing
to the girl. She should, moreover, speak with disparagement of the other lovers
of the girl, and talk about the avarice and indiscretion of their parents, and the
fickleness of their relations. She should also quote samples of many girls of
ancient times, such as Sakoontala and others, who, having united themselves
with lovers of their own caste and their own choice, were ever happy afterwards
in their society. And she should also tell of other girls who married into great
families, and being troubled by rival wives, became wretched and miserable,
and were finally abandoned. She should further speak of the good fortune, the
continual happiness, the chastity, obedience, and affection of the man, and if
the girl gets amorous about him, she should endeavour to allay her shame2 and
her fear as well as her suspicions about any disaster that might result from her
marriage. In a word, she should act the whole part of a female messenger by
telling the girl all about the man's affection for her, the places he frequented,
and the endeavours he made to meet her, and by frequently repeating, `It will
be all right if the man will take you away forcibly and unexpectedly.'
The Forms of Marriage
When the girl is gained over, and acts openly with the man as his wife, he
should cause fire to be brought from the house of a Brahman, and having
spread the Kusha grass upon the ground, and offered an oblation to the fire, he
should marry her according to the precepts of the religious law. After this he
should inform his parents of the fact, because it is the opinion of ancient
authors that a marriage solemnly contracted in the presence of fire cannot
afterwards be set aside.
After the consummation of the marriage, the relations of the man should
gradually be made acquainted with the affair, and the relations of the girl
should also be apprised of it in such a way that they may consent to the
marriage, and overlook the manner in which it was brought about, and when
this is done they should afterwards be reconciled by affectionate presents and
favourable conduct. In this manner the man should marry the girl according to
the Gandharva form of marriage.
When the girl cannot make up her mind, or will not express her readiness to
marry, the man should obtain her in any one of the following ways:
On a fitting occasion, and under some excuse, he should, by means of a female
friend with whom he is well acquainted, and whom he can trust, and who also is
well known to the girl's family, get the girl brought unexpectedly to his house,
and he should then bring fire from the house of a Brahman, and proceed as
before described.
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