of mediocre qualities, a neighbour possessed of wealth, and one under the
control of his father, mother or brothers, should not marry without
endeavouring to gain over the girl from her childhood to love and esteem him.
Thus a boy separated from his parents, and living in the house of his uncle,
should try to gain over the daughter of his uncle, or some other girl, even
though she be previously betrothed to another. And this way of gaining over a
girl, says Ghotakamukha, is unexceptional, because Dharma can be
accomplished by means of it as well as by any other way of marriage.
When a boy has thus begun to woo the girl he loves, he should spend his time
with her and amuse her with various games and diversions fitted for their age
and acquaintanceship, such as picking and collecting flowers, making garlands
of flowers, playing the parts of members of a fictitious family, cooking food,
playing with dice, playing with cards, the game of odd and even, the game of
finding out the middle finger, the game of six pebbles, and such other games as
may be prevalent in the country, and agreeable to the disposition of the girl. In
addition to this, he should carry on various amusing games played by several
persons together, such as hide and seek, playing with seeds, hiding things in
several small heaps of wheat and looking for them, blindman's buff, gymnastic
exercises, and other games of the same sort, in company with the girl, her
friends and female attendants. The man should also show great kindness to any
woman whom the girl thinks fit to be trusted, and should also make new
acquaintances, but above all he should attach to himself by kindness and little
services the daughter of the girl's nurse, for if she be gained over, even though
she comes to know of his design, she does not cause any obstruction, but is
sometimes even able to effect a union between him and the girl. And though
she knows the true character of the man, she always talks of his many
excellent qualities to the parents and relations of the girl, even though she may
not be desired to do so by him.
In this way the man should do whatever the girl takes most delight in, and he
should get for her whatever she may have a desire to possess. Thus he should
procure for her such playthings as may be hardly known to other girls. He may
also show her a ball dyed with various colours, and other curiosities of the same
sort; and should give her dolls made of cloth, wood, buffalo-horn, wax, flour, or
earth; also utensils for cooking food, and figures in wood, such as a man and
woman standing, a pair of rams, or goats, or sheep; also temples made of
earth, bamboo, or wood, dedicated to various goddesses; and cages for
parrots, cuckoos, starlings, quails, cocks, and partridges; water-vessels of
different sorts and of elegant forms, machines for throwing water about,
guitars, stands for putting images upon, stools, lac, red arsenic, yellow
ointment, vermilion and collyrium, as well as sandalwood, saffron, betel nut and
betel leaves. Such things should be given at different times whenever he gets a
good opportunity of meeting her, and some of them should be given in private,
and some in public, according to circumstances. In short, he should try in every
way to make her look upon him as one who would do for her everything that
she wanted to be done.
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